So, in my real-life attic, full of real-life herbs, why is it so hard for me to move the orris root from its bag to its jar? If I had satisfying sound effects, would I have completed that mission by now? Thus, in the way of finite narratives, the game ended. I wanted to inhabit the world longer, to continue collecting Pumpkinjack Bones and Jars of Milk, but I also didn’t want to stop playing. I wish I had played this game more slowly. The accompanying sound is, again, very satisfying – sort of a magical swish. But once you have gathered ingredients, you need only select the recipe you have in mind and, with a whoosh of light, your potion is made. You certainly can’t order orris root in bulk from Amazon. You might have to craft Spirit Salts to defeat a ghost to acquire its mummified head, or use homemade Dreadful Dolls to distract goblins long enough to steal their snot. Granted, you have to go through ordeals to gather ingredients. In Wytchwood, potion prep happens almost instantaneously. There is a bag of orris root sitting in my attic that I’ve been meaning to grind up and put in an empty jar labeled “orris root.” I’ve been meaning to do this for about a year. The main logistical problem with making my real life into a Wytchwood life is that I am – and I cannot emphasize this enough – very lazy. The main question I have while considering Wytchwood is, why isn’t this my life? Should I move to a woodland cottage? Should I start wearing a cauldron for a hat? Should I acquire a goat companion? Should I age myself up by several centuries? Follow-up questions: Would the woodland cottage have indoor plumbing? Would the cauldron hat be breathable? Would the goat get along with my cat? Collecting ingredients makes little popping noises, which are also pretty satisfying. The bad guys tend to be capitalists and bullies, so defeating them is pretty satisfying.
You gather ingredients to make potions to solve problems by solving other people’s problems, you defeat bad guys and snag their souls. You wander over hill, over dale, through swampland, through cemetery on your quest for ingredients and souls. This sounds a bit sinister, but the gameplay is very soothing. I spent the past several weeks binging Wytchwood, a crafting adventure game in which you – an elderly witch wearing a cauldron on her head – collect souls to bring to a goat with whom you made a bargain in a past you can’t remember. I assume that I manifested them, and I intend to play them all. Several years ago, I went looking for witch games whose primary gameplay involved potion-making and found the market severely lacking. If you like what you see, grab the magazine for less than ten dollars, or subscribe and get all future magazines for half price. This column is a reprint from Unwinnable Monthly #148.
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